My Tryst with Destiny

The following is a piece of writing that emerged out of the documentation workshop by Shibani Chakraborty, a teacher of Naba Disha center and now a core group member of the project. In the write up she explores her life and how Naba Disha gave her an opportunity to discover her hidden potential. How in her attempt to emancipate herself, she began a new innings of her life that in turn fulfilled her void. Today there are many mothers and children looking up to her, seeking her strength and guidance. Shibani has truly emerged winner in her tryst with destiny...

I was born and brought up in an orthodox family. I got married when I was just 19 years old, even before the completion of my studies. No one in my family bothered to find out how I felt about this. No one asked what I wanted. I completed my graduation from my father’s house. My father –in law was a very temperamental man and I was extremely scared of him.

After three years of my marriage, at the age of 22, I became a mother to a baby boy. I had suffered a lot till then. After his birth my sole aim in life was to nurture him and bring him up to be a good human being. In doing so, I overlooked and ignored a lot of suffering, and humiliation of my in laws and their authoritarian nature. I kept going on in my effort to raise my child well. That was my dream.

My son was admitted into a reputed English medium school in Calcutta. In my effort to help him with his studies I faced a lot of trouble as I was essentially from a Bengali medium background. So his textbooks and his syllabus were quite alien to me. Yet, this hurdle did not deter me. I was determined to educate my child well. Whenever, my son was away in school, I would utilize that time to read and decipher his books slowly and gradually. So that when I he returned home, I would be in a position to work with him on them. This prior preparation helped me teach him better.

Days turned to years and years flew by slowly but surely. And soon a day came when my son successfully completed his secondary examination. At this stage, he chose science as his field of higher studies. This was a time when even if I tried I could not help him with his studies. I could only help him in Bengali language.

It was at this time that the turning point of my life was about to begin. I came to know about a certain course in education called the ECL course (early Childhood Learning), it was an 8 month course that was conducted at the St Xaviers College. I was keen to take the course. I was willing to learn something new, to do something new. Yet I was not certain of my abilities. I was in a dilemma over my priorities too. I decide to discuss the matter with my son and opened up my heart to him. He firmly encouraged me to go ahead with this. I took admission into the course and then began a new chapter in my life.

Not to say that this ended all my struggles. Maybe it was in a way the beginning of a new phase of struggle. A different kind of struggle. A struggle for identity and emancipation. Though my family was not supportive enough, I wanted to study this course whole heartedly. Initially the course seemed very difficult to me. Since I had lost touch with studies years ago, getting back to it proved difficult. I found it difficult to follow a concept taught in class. As such, I made it appoint to reach the college very early and use that time to discuss with my teachers the various concepts and learn them at my own pace. Gradually my closed mind began to open up and I started understanding things being taught. Time passed and I completed my course. I got my certificate on the 5th of September 2001.

After the completion of the course I joined Vikramshila’s Naba Disha School. My sole aim was to be independent, to be constructively engaged and to do something useful. My value in my own eyes had to rise. I had to be someone. Despite the fact that my husband held a high rank in his company, I had become desperate for a job. It was not about money, it was the need to breathe freely.

I did not think for a single moment about the place of my work, the community where I would have to work or anything else. I was concerned only about my performance. I wanted to work and give my best.

A new innings of my life began. My work dealt with those under privileged children of society with an aim to bring them back to the mainstream. My initial experience was not at all encouraging- I faced a lot of stumbles. Neither the community nor the children accepted me whole heartedly as I am a Hindu and the community was Muslim. I also faced language barriers as let alone Urdu, I could not even manage to speak Hindi well. The community was in fact quite suspicious about our entry and it took me a long time and huge struggle to gain their trust. It did not happen overnight. I slowly learned their language, began to spend a lot of time with time, talking, listening, dealt with them with care, love and affection. Slowly their resistance and suspicions began to fade away and the barriers dropped.

Soon the children and the community opened up to me. Mothers came up to me to discuss their issues and problems, seek advice. I had become a source of strength and reliance for them.